Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
