I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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