the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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