next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
