I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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