Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
