My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
either way he was missing a nipple.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
