Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My dick has a subreddit
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
