you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
