She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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