sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
