i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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