The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
