Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize