I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
