i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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