Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
