the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
