it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
