she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
