If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
