Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
There r osticjed everywhere
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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