my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
im holly from the hills drunk
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Come share oat with me in your robe
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
