My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
