so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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