after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
