C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
