real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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