Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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