You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So much rum. So many feels.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
