i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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