my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
