I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
