Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
