what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
