Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
