I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
