After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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