I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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