you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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