I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize