We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
