Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
