JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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