You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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