I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
