Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
