fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
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