I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
you never un-have a 4some
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize