Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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