9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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