shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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