Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
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