It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
we're so committed to being not committed
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