I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
