ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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