You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
