Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
