I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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