Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize