Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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