we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
