I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
